LONDON - A mystery man dressed as Batman demonstrated the same crime-fighting skills as the caped crusader when he handed over a suspect wanted for burglary in Britain.

An American lawyer has accused his opponent of using a busty woman to distract him in court.

Thomas Gooch wouldn't believe the big-chested beauty who was sitting next to him was really a qualified paralegal and accused Dmitry Feofanoy of placing her there to help him win the case.

Pope Benedict XVI has shut down a monastery in Italy after a former lap dancer performed there.

The holy one took action after nun Anna Nobili - who used to be a striptease artist - twirled around a crucifix as part of her new religious routine and was also unimpressed that celebrities such as Madonna had visited the 500-year-old place of worship.

A study in Canada has found that women are more attracted to men who rarely smile.

According to research by the University of British Columbia females are more sexually attracted to brooding bad boys than happy-go-lucky lads.

A pastor was set alight in South Africa by people who accused him of using a magic penis to sleep with women.

Nine men and three women aged 28 to 50 will appear in court in Mpumalanga on charges of murder and arson after Albert Malwane was burned to death.

Alex James hosted a lunch at the world's longest picnic table in the UK.

The 'Blur' rocker teamed up with MasterCard to enjoy free food with over 350 other picnic-lovers at the table which covered 90 metres of ground.

An American woman stabbed her boyfriend for going to the toilet too much.

Mary Ramos, 46, said she slashed her man in the face and chest because she thought he was meeting a naked woman in their flat's communal bathroom.

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Iceland is in the market for a new name, and after accepting submissions from across the Internet (never a good idea), it's deciding between two options: "Let's Get Lost Land" and "Isle of Awe Land."

So far "Isle of Awe Land" is winning in a landslide, but there's still time to change that by casting your own vote on the "Inspired by Iceland" Web site.

Other submissions that didn't make the Top Two included "Best Place to Grow a Beard Land" and "Niceland," plus a few others that I'm sure didn't get passed out by tourism officials.

"A country's name is its identity but that doesn't mean it describes it in the right way," Reykjavik Mayor Jon Gnarr told the Daily Telegraph. "I mean, look at Greenland."

Voting will end in two weeks - and there's one little catch: The "new" name won't exactly be official. It's more of a marketing thing.

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This two-bedroom pirate ship is available to any wannabe buccaneers in the St. Louis area, and you don't even need a chest o' gold.

Just $79,000 will do, according to the item's listing page.

The listing says the ship was built over a 1988 50-foot Gibson houseboat - so you get some modern conveniences that would make even Blackbeard envious, like twin 454s, a Kohler generator and V drives.

All that, and room for 30 of your filthiest high-seas scallywags to party and pillage all night long.

Arrrrr!

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Jonah's got a new song out, "Too Damn Big," and it's all about the 13.5 inch part of his body that's made him famous around the world.

Here's a sample of Jonah's lyrics:

I heard it from all the guys and every single freakin' girlThey wanna try and take a ride on the biggest in the worldBut in order to ride the beast it must be unfurled

And the big chorus:

Too damn bigIt's just too damn bigYour penis too damn big yeahIt's too damn big

Andy Campbell of Huffington Post has more on the tune, which is now available now on iTunes and CDBaby.

See more of Jonah Falcon in this special gallery. Other Weird Penis Tales Living With the World's Largest Penis Photos of the Man With the World's Largest Penis Functional Penis Shoe Puts a Dildo on Your Foot Italian Contraption Increases Penis Size Penises Chopped, Chewed & Tattooed

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If you are, then maybe you too can get a glimpse of Handsome Gene Anderson in the buff.

Police say they got complaints that the 53-year-old was exposing himself at an extended-stay motel in Cartersville, Georgia. When they turned up, 53-year-old Anderson was getting dressed.

"I ain't got much to show, but I am proud of what I got, and anyone who got to see me naked is lucky they got to see my junk, but I was not walking around naked," Anderson reportedly told police according to Cartersville Patch.

By the way, Cartersville is not named for Jimmy Carter, the only U.S. president from Georgia. It's actually named for Colonel Farish Carter.

But let's get back to the (alleged) crimes - because this man isn't the only one accused of taking it all off and getting illegal this week. I've got a whole bunch of accused miscreants who did their alleged deeds in the buff - including no less than two people accused of crawling naked through doggie doors.

See them all in my new gallery, "Naked Crime Roundup." Other Weird Crime News Weird Crime Mug Shot Hall of Shame Scarred & Scared: Marked Men and Women Deliver Memorable Mug Shots Celebrity Mug Shot Hall of Shame Dumb Crime du Jour A Face to Remember: Cops ID Suspect Based on Tattoos

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At least, that's what police in Florida say when they responded to a call of shots fired and found an allegedly drunk man bragging of the damage he did with his gone to the dock where he was found.

"The dock sh*t was my sh*t," 44-year-old Michael Johnston reportedly told them, according to TCPalm.com.

He was referring to the damage... but he should have been talking about his pants, because while he was talking to police, he allegedly dropped a deuce on himself.

See more of Johnston - but, thankfully, you won't have to smell him as well as the rest of this week's (alleged) dumb criminals in my new gallery, "This Week in Dumb Crime." Other Weird Crime News Weird Crime Mug Shot Hall of Shame Scarred & Scared: Marked Men and Women Deliver Memorable Mug Shots Celebrity Mug Shot Hall of Shame Dumb Crime du Jour A Face to Remember: Cops ID Suspect Based on Tattoos

Photo © Indian River County (Florida) Sheriff's Office Facebook Fan Page | Blogged Network | Twitter Feed